The Gift

“What do you have that you did not receive? . . . and why do you boast as though you did not receive it?”

Those questions were written centuries ago by a frustrated mentor. He not only realized the myth of the “self-made” individual, but also the destructive tendencies such a myth unleashes.

“Gift” simply means something was given to me without me earning or creating it. The word also implies that what I received was from someone else – they gave it to me.

Not all gifts are good or beneficial. Some of the things we have received have been positive and beautiful. Other have been negative or even destructive. But they were given to us, so each was a gift.

No gift is free. Every gift had a cost to the giver. The transfer to the recipient had no direct cost – hence why we often (mistakenly) call gifts “free”. However, even for the recipient, there will be an ongoing cost from the gift, whether they use or dispose of that gift.

Each of us has been gifted with many things. I would go as far as to say that the majority of what I have and who I am has been gifted to me throughout my life. My birthplace, time, and location that set me on my life course – were gifts, not earned. The family I was raised by, the education available to me, the society I grew up in – these were beyond my control. They were gifts. Even the career opportunities I leverage or squandered were, by and large, brought to me. They, too, were gifts.

Why is it so important that I recognize what I was gifted with as a gift and not as something earned?

The first lesson is gratitude. As I receive use those gifts, it is important that I recognize the value of the gifts given and the cost to those who gave them to me. Others have been willing to invest in me – even when those gifts were not what I expected or wanted.

The second lesson is humility. As I recognize and celebrate the gifts I have been given, I realize that each of us is the product of family and community. We are interdependent, each gaining strength and advantage as we give strength and advantage. We are like the cells in the human body, each dependent on the other for life and strength – each giving life and strength to the others. Any infection or sickness affects the whole. Any nourishment or exercise (mental or physical) strengthens the whole.

As a mentor, this must be my paradigm if I am to be successful.

MarkT